Bride Doubles Down on Guest Capacity at Her Wedding When Bridesmaid Cousin Refuses to RSVP Her Plus One, Cousin Throws an Entitled Fit: ‘[I feel] walked all over’

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Nov 4, 2024 9:00 PM EST

Pulling together a complete guest list for your dream wedding is stressful enough without wishy-washy bridesmaids not giving you a concrete answer on if their plus ones are attending. Do hard-headed guests understand that each person requires a seat and a dinner plate (which costs money!) and there's no going back if you say you're rolling solo to the wedding? Though it might be frustrating to get all of your ducks in a row as the guest, the bride is also trying to get her ducks in a row. The difference between the bride and the guest? The bride's paying for it! 

The bridesmaid in this story told the bride that she would not be bringing a plus one to her wedding because she and her short-term boyfriend broke up. 10 days after the RSVP deadline, the bridesmaid demands that the new man she's seeing get a seat. The bride says, "Too bad!". Even still, this bridesmaid is telling family and friends that she'll be bringing him regardless, despite his less-than-spotless track record with women and the law. Scroll below to read the full story.

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    AITA for telling my cousin/bridesmaid we are at capacity?
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    I am getting married in a month and having what feels like very unnecessary drama with my family member who is also a bridesmaid. From the moment we got engaged, my fiance and I told our wedding party if they had even a short
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    term boyfriend we would be happy to host them at our wedding. At the time, my family member had an off and on boyfriend who we extended an invitation to, but every time we asked over the course of the year for deadlines to
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    each event, she either ignored us entirely or told us off that "we didn't need to know yet and to stop bothering her." In July, they broke up for good and thus we removed her plus one.
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    Flash forward to September, she begins to see a new guy (again, on and off) but doesn't mention bringing him, not even once she got her invite for one person in the mail. The weekend before our cut off for
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    RSVP's, we attended another wedding of our family where she had pushed for a plus one only to show up alone, leaving a paid plate empty, and over this weekend ended up sleeping with a random
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    guy we met at the bar (which my fiance was aware of.) Ten days following our RSVP cutoff, she mentions that she may bring this new guy she is seeing.. not a firm yes even at this point, and I
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    told her politely it wasn't going to be possible as we are at capacity, I'm so sorry, all the things... She has a fit, demands to bring him, going as far to tell my friends at my bachelorette she was just going to show up with
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    him regardless, calls other family members behind my back telling them a very one sided story to get people to take her side. What my family members don't know, is that the guy she is seeing not only just had
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    a baby with another woman, lives with that woman and is on her cell phone plan, but also that he was released at the beginning of this year from jail for the last 15 years for armed robbery. Something she expects
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    me to keep secret while trying to demand she brings him (possibly), past the deadline, with my nieces and nephews. (under the age of 3) in attendance. They are not "dating", just sleeping together, and he would
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    have to borrow his baby mamas ride to come down the day of - a drive that would likely cause him to possibly even miss the wedding entirely (even if we caved and got him a plate at our head table).
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    I love my family member and always take her side, try my best to support her choices, but have left the situation feeling very disregarded, disrespected, and walked. all over. Am I the a h le for wanting to stand my
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    ground and not extend this man an invitation, or should I look past the rest and allow him to come (without having met him), if he even shows, because she is a bridesmaid?
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    Wedding planning is stressful enough but I don't want to punish her, I just want her to consider me in my own planning of my own wedding.
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    Edit: I failed to mention we began at 80 guests and are now at 110, far over, and my fiance and I are paying for this wedding. She knows both of these things.
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    Mariet... 21h ago • Well if any flying monkeys come at you, tell them about this man. Then update us.
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    lilyofthev... • 20h ago I'd uninvite her. She sounds nuts and would probably do something to ruin your wedding. Oh, and all the family complaining would get. a text with all the information on that guy.
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    Kiki091919 20h ago. I can't imagine why you always support her choices. She sounds like she has the I Q of a rock (apologies to all rocks). Un-invite her, do not hesitate to tell those who ask exactly who and what sort of person he is. Have a beautiful wedding!
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    PotentialDig7527 20h ago • • I would again tell her, that you're sorry, but at capacity and since she missed the deadline, the venue will not make any more exceptions as you're 30 people over already. I'd also alert a few big guy friends who can take care of the problem, should she show up with the BF, asking him to leave quietly, otherwise cousin can leave as well.
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    I wouldn't divulge all the details about the guy unless you are really forced to, then let er rip.
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    Just-Like-My-O... à 20h ago. Your cousin sounds like a hot mess. Are you sure you want that kind of drama at your wedding? NTA
    via Just-Like-My-Opinion

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